Hello
by LiizzzyyRAWR
Summary: <html><head></head>The song was on the radio and he thought of her. Lots of songs reminded him of her. She was perfect. Perfect for him, perfect to him. But he let her go. No. He made her go. He was an idiot. Jesse's thoughts on Rachel. Rachel's thoughts on Jesse. Complete.</html>
1. Him

_I've been alone with you inside my mind, and in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times._

The song was on the radio and he thought of her. Hello by Lionel Richie. Whenever he heard it, he thought of her. Though, it wasn't limited to just this song. Lots of songs reminded him of her.

She was perfect. Perfect for him, perfect to him. They were perfect together. But he let her go. No. He _made _her go. He practically chased her away.

He was an idiot.

When he took the job from Shelby, he thought nothing of it. Rachel Berry was just another school girl. She'd fall for him, he'd lead her to Shelby and that would be the end of it. He expected it would be easy. He never expected she'd be the most amazing person he had ever met. He wanted to hate Shelby. If she never sent him on that mission he would've never met Rachel. She just would've been that girl with the great voice from McKinley that he'd see at competitions. She wouldn't be the one thing constantly on his mind.

He knew he would have to leave her. He knew before it had even started that he would have to end it.

Vocal Adrenaline needed him. He needed Vocal Adrenaline. He needed them to win and they needed him to win. Going back to Vocal Adrenaline meant winning the competition, but losing Rachel.

He looked back on that decision a lot.

New Directions impressed him at Regionals. Even after spending so much time among them, he was surprised at how good they were. Especially _Faithfully. _He had hated watching that. Finn and Rachel, singing a love song together. It would've been beautiful, if Jesse could just shake that feeling of intense jealousy.

But maybe that was what was going to happen anyway. Finn was all over Rachel. Obsessed with her. Even though he had dumped her for those cheerleaders a couple of days before Jesse had met her.

Maybe Finn and Rachel were the ones who were meant to be.

Jesse and Rachel. Rachel and Jesse. They were the ones who were perfect for each other. They understood each other. They shared being great at something and their dreams of stardom. Jesse saw past the ambitious young girl who wants everything too much. He saw _her. _He saw who she was. That's what he loved.

He had done a bit of facebook stalking, he wasn't proud of it and he only had limited access to New Directions' profiles because they had all deleted him, but he had enough access to see that Rachel Barbra Berry was no longer 'in a relationship' with Finn Hudson. And for a second there, he thought he had a chance. Then he remembered.

The eggs. He still couldn't believe himself. How could he have done that? He called her out and saw her. Running towards him, so excited. He immediately regretted his decision. He wanted to take her hand and pull her away. But it was too late. He stood there and let them throw eggs at her, then he cracked his own on her head. He couldn't think about it without wanting to cry. It was terrible. He knew what it would do to her. But he still let it happen. He told her he loved her. But what did that even mean after he had cracked an egg on her head?

It meant he was a fool. That's what it meant.

Now. Now he wanted her back more than anything. He wanted her and her drama and her talent and her beauty. He wanted her. But any chance he had with her he had ruined.

He never stopped thinking about her. Once he started, he didn't stop. He couldn't. At first there was the distraction of the completion and winning another national title, but once that was over his mind wondered back to her. Was another national title even worth it? Was it worth throwing away his chance with her for?

Rachel told him once that she liked letters. Not emails or wall posts, but actual physical letters. He had written her letters. Lots of them. Explaining how he was sorry and he would do anything to make it up to her, that he really did love her and letting her go was his biggest regret. But everything he wrote sounded stupid.

He never sent them.

So he couldn't have her, he hoped she was happy. She seemed to be happy with Finn, but that ended, so maybe it wasn't so great with him after all. He just hoped she was happy.

The question plagued his mind: _Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?_

Maybe this is what love is.

He loved her. He wanted to be with her. But if she was with someone else and happy, he thought he could_ probably_ deal with that. He didn't like that Finn sang _Faithfully _with her at Regionals. But she looked so happy and that made him happy.

As long as she was happy, he wasn't going to ruin that.

Jesse wasn't sure of much, though it always seemed he was. But if he was sure of anything, it was this:

Jesse St. James would always be in love with Rachel Berry.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Please review.<strong>_


	2. Her

She had dreamt about Jesse a lot. In her conscious state, she hated him. Okay, passionately disliked. Well, at least she tried to, but it was just too hard. She had loved him, and even though he broke her heart, every now and then she would dream he would come back to apologize.

So when he joined into her song and appeared in the back of the auditorium, it wasn't a surprise that she thought she was dreaming. Everything was exactly as she would've dreamed as well, the auditorium, his dramatic entrance. Them singing together, their voices blending perfectly. Only in her dreams she didn't feel like this.

It was like her stomach had twisted into a thousand knots, it was like she was nervous and nauseous and hurt. She felt all the pain and drama. But she couldn't help feeling the love and the way he made her feel. She was re-experiencing every feeling she had felt in their relationship. All at the same time.

_We could've had it all._

Jesse St. James was the guy of her dreams. There was no denying that. Even after he left and she was with Finn, the guy she had been pining after for a good part of the year, she'd sometimes catch herself thinking things like "Jesse would've stood up for me" or "Jesse would be more interested in doing this with me". Jesse was the one that picked her up when Finn had let her down. He was everything she loved in Finn and more. Jesse was charismatic, handsome, charming and not to mention extremely talented. He was everything she wanted. Everything she could've ever hoped for.

After sectionals, she was on this massive high. New Directions had won, Finn knew the truth about Quinn and had chosen Rachel and though the Glee club was still at the bottom of McKinley's social ladder, but it didn't matter. Everything was great. Then Finn broke up with her as soon as his popularity was jeopardized. She was distraught.

Then there was Jesse.

In the library, he approached her and for the first time in a long time she stopped thinking of Finn. And when she sung with him...it was beautiful, like everything else in the world faded away.

This time it was different.

They still sounded amazing together, but nothing faded away. Every feeling was there. All she could think about was what was going to be said when they finished the song.

He told her he was sorry. She didn't know if she could believe it. Was it true that he loved her? Or was he just playing her, like everyone had told her all along? She didn't know. Jesse wasn't just a talented singer and dancer, he was also a great actor. How was she meant to trust that he was truly sorry when she couldn't even be sure that their whole relationship wasn't just an act? When he cracked that egg on her head, how could that be love?

Just thinking about it made her want to cry. She had never felt worse in her life. Not before then, and not since then. When Finn broke up with her she was wrecked, but it didn't compare to that moment in the parking lot.

They were coming at her from every angle before she even realized what was happening. Then they emerged. Vocal Adrenaline. And Jesse was there. Just standing there. Watching. He did nothing. He did nothing until he cracked the final egg on her head.

The feeling was hard to describe. It was like being let down, betrayed, embarrassed and heart-broken all at once. Like in that single moment every thing inside her broke and she couldn't move, she couldn't run away, she couldn't cry, she couldn't scream. She just stood among the broken egg shells as he left her.

Now he was here. Saying he was sorry. How was she meant to feel? Happy? Upset? Angry? She usually had her thoughts neatly organized, she knew how she was meant to feel, and she had never failed to feel it. Never before had she been so...conflicted.

Prom. He wanted to take her to prom. Maybe this was her chance. Her chance to figure out how she felt.

Rachel Berry knew a lot. She prided herself on it. But the one thing she didn't know, it was how Jesse St. James really felt.

* * *

><p><strong>I wasn't going to do a second chapter, but a few people said they wouldn't mind a continuation. So I thought why not do one on Rachel's thoughts as well. I hope you like it. I'm not going to add any more to this, because I don't want to ruin it. I may write more St. Berry in the future, though. :)<strong>

_**Please review.**_


End file.
